Dear Readers/Viewers/Fellow Babies:

For the next week or so, S.D. Watch is going on semi-hiatus. The only posts you'll likely see for a while will concern Harrisburg High School Girls soccer.

This blog is at a crossroads.  More importantly, my life is at a crossroads.

This past year, and particularly the past few months, have been extremely difficult ones for me and my family.

Some of you know this but the rest of you might as well.  My 15 year old daughter Sarah has been in and out of trouble with the law for the past year.  She has spent most of the summer housed at JDC.  Now, she is undergoing in-patient chemical dependency treatment at Volunteers of America. 

Dealing with my daughter's problems and absolute heartache my wife and I have suffered these past months because of it has been devastating.  It has tested our marriage, our family, our health, and our jobs.  I would not wish what we have gone through on my worst enemy.  When your child is in trouble and you can't seem to help them, the guilt, sadness and anger is overwhelming.  I love my daughter so much.  But I have been so helpless in being able to help her.  She needs my full attention.  My wife needs my full attention.  My son needs my full attention.

All of this has had a deleterious impact on my law practice.  My law practice needs my attention.  I have clients who need me to get things done for them.  I draw the line in the sand today and get back in the lawyer saddle full time. 

Having said that, I am also looking at other employment opportunities.  I love to write.  I love to lobby.  I love politics.  I love this blog thing.  Maybe something will turn up.  But in the meantime, I am a lawyer with clients to serve and justice to achieve.

In addition, this week, I start coaching the Harrisburg High School Girls Soccer team.  I love soccer.  I love these girls.  I want to give them a good experience.  I want to win the state championship.  They need my focus as well.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to help keep Sen. John Thune accountable.  No one has paid me to do that, with the exception of a few small donations via PayPal from a few assorted donors.  Frankly, at some point, I thought the S.D. Democratic Party or the national Democratic Party of one of our Democratic Congresspeople or someone like that would think what I was doing was worth a job.  I foolishly thought that by trying to hold John Thune accountable from everything from Jeff Gannon to VA health care to his junketing to Dan Nelson Auto, my friends and colleagues in the Party or related groups would see the value in what I do and help me turn this into a model for other bloggers and groups and get paid to do it.  Admittedly, that was stupid on my part.

That dream, so far, has been to the contrary. I hold out some hope that the state party might hire me as their press secretary/communications director, but I hear from some of my party sources that I should not get my hopes up.  Maybe I'm wrong.  And after this posting, whatever chance I have may be gone anyway. 

I believe in telling it like it is.  I'll suffer the consequences like a man and not a wuss.  At least I can look at myself in the mirror in the morning.

For the most part, I barely get a thank you for what I do from my own fellow Democrats who have power and authority.  In fact, I get truculent emails from fellow Democrats when I fail to follow what they believe to be is "the party line." 

I try and take on a big Democrat who thought Ellsworth closing would be good for Democrats, telling him that I think such a position is reprehensible, and I'm the one who gets yelled at.  He gets put on a board of a local Democratic organization as his reward.  No wonder we can't win elections.  Do we really like the people we say we are trying to help?  We're willing to endorse 4,000 people losing their jobs through no fault of their own for political gain?  That is obscene in my book.  That's bad government, bad politics, and just plain being a bad person.  If John Thune can save EAFB, more power to him.  Seriously.  People's livelihoods hang in the balance.

In my dealings with the state and local parties and groups since the 2004 election, I have pushed an agenda of attacking and of getting candidates and money for 2006 NOW.  This has largely been rebuffed.  I hear things like "this is a ten year process" or "we have plenty of time."  We don't.  If the S.D. Democratic Party and its county parties continue on the current do-nothing path, we will be a complete irrelevancy in just a couple more election cycles at the state and local levels.  Sure, we might get a Tim Johnson or a Stephanie Herseth elected once in a while, but that will be because of their skills and their organizations' efforts, not the Party's efforts.

I have come to the conclusion that some of the South Dakota Democrats in positions of authority are afraid to go on the offensive.  They are afraid of leading.  They want the party to be a debating society, not a means of electing candidates. My Republican colleagues don't approach elections that way.  That's also why they win.  And unlike many of my fellow Democrats, I don't think the Republicans are idiots.  Far from it.  We should learn from them.  But we don't.  Our arrogance prevents us from learning from them.  That's why I plead with Democrats to read S.D. War College.  That's not how I practice law or coach soccer.  That's not how we should practice politics either.

I always learn more from my opponents than anyone else.  I'm not too cocky to admit it.  If Gary Thimsen kicks my butt in court, I learn from an experienced attorney.  If Groton kicks my Harrisburg girls on the pitch, I learn from it.  In politics, have we learned anything from the frankly brilliant campaign that John Thune conducted in 2004?  No, we're too busy making fun of him and saying what a jerk he is.  Meanwhile, he is now our U.S. Senator.  Some dumb guy, huh?

Is some of this sour grapes.  Yup.  No denying it.

But I have also come to the conclusion that life is too short to be so angry.  It is too short to love things that don't love you back.  It is consuming me in a very bad way.

My family needs me.  My clients need me.  My soccer team needs me.  I hope my friends think that they can depend upon me if they need me.  I need to step away from John Thune, George W. Bush, and my own Democratic Party, at least for a while.  Go read the Hildebrand Boys in the meantime to get your anti-Thune jollies.  For a while, I've got more important things to worry about.

I am tired of banging my head against the wall with no support, and worse, criticism of my beliefs and methods.  I'm tired of feeling like a lone wolf in a herd of sheep.  Maybe I am wrong and I am over reacting.  But that's how I feel.

My father, Rodney, warned me about this.  As I was embarking on this blog, he asked me, "Todd, who's going to help you when your family is hurting?  Who's going to help you when your law practice needs business?  Who's going to help you when you need help?  The Democratic Party?  Hell no.  You're useful to them only when they want you.  It's your family and friends who will help you, not them."

I tried to tell my dad he was wrong.  Unfortunately, he wasn't.  He was right as usual.  At some point in my life, I'm going to start listening to my father's advice before it is too late.

And thank God for family and friends when times do get tough. My dad has been wonderful.  My wife Donna has been wonderful.  Marlon Mollet, Barry Foster, Sheldon Osborn, and Lance Moran have been like brothers.  Mitch Krebs has been a great friend. I have had Republican friends that I disagree with completely on political things offer their prayers and support.  That has meant a lot to me.

And in this blogging thing, I've met great people like Pat Powers.  Heck, I even like Steve Sibson.  The gang at South Dakota Politics has always treated me with civility.  Steve, Jeff Gannon, Jon Schaff, Ken Blanchard, Quentin Riggins, Jon Lauck, and Ryne McClaren, you have been worthy opponents.  Not enemies, opponents.  I've enjoyed dueling with you.  It's been like soccer, only played on the political pitch.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense.  I am too angry and too sad and too busy to blog about John Thune and George W. Bush right now.  I don't know what this blog will be or become once I do come back.  Thanks for supporting my blog over the past months.  I hope you've enjoyed it. But during my semi-hiatus, someone else can take up that fight for a while.  But don't expect anyone on our side to appreciate it.

See you in a week--or longer.