Fresh off of their crack work in the Morgan Lewis "suicide" in Aberdeen, NSU Professors Jim Seeber and Ken Blanchard are obviously ready to fry bigger criminal fish.  Exhibit 1?  The mysterious circumstances of Vice President Dick Cheney shooting his special "friend," Harry Whittington, down in Corpus Christi, Texas last weekend.

I bet it would go something like this (Warning: humor, not to be taken seriously.  This is all made up.):

David Gregory, NBC News White House Correspondent: "Dr. Blanchard, this is David Gregory with NBC News.  I've got Bill Plante from CBS News on the line with me.  We heard about your great work getting to the bottom of the Morgan Lewis suicide up there in Aberdeen.  We could really use you and Dr. Seeber to get to the bottom of this Cheney buckshot incident in Texas."

Bill Plante: "Oh, could you please help us, Dr. Blanchard?  We are mere journalists and you are a political scientist!  We are not worthy!"

Blanchard: "Oh, come on guys, you flatter me!"

Plante: "Dr. Blanchard, seriously, we need you.  We wouldn't know nothin' about interviewin' no Vice President!"

Blanchard: "Leave everything to me and Dr. Seeber!  We are Blanchard and Seeber, NSU's finest non-criminologists!"

Three days later after taking five Mesaba flights in order to get to Washington, DC from The Hub City, the dynamic Ph.D. duo interview Vice President Cheney.

Dr. Jim Seeber: "Mr. Vice President, it is a pleasure to talk to you.  God knows those damn pesky journalists don't know how to talk to a man of your stature and importance."

V.P. Cheney: (Gives half sneer, half smile.) "Yeah, they're all like that Adam Clymer from the New York Times, real a**holes."

Blanchard: "So, Mr. Vice President, what happened?"

Cheney: "Well, Whittington was trying to commit suicide."

Seeber: "Really.  I had my suspicions!"

Cheney: "Yeah, he's 78 years old and a lawyer.  Can you imagine the self-hate he must have?"

Blanchard: "I suspected so much."

Cheney: "In fact, he was dressed from head to toe in blaze orange so he would make a better target for me.  Orange hat, orange vest, orange pants, orange gloves, even orange boots."

Blanchard: "Do go on, Mr. Vice President!"

Cheney: "There he was, ten yards behind me to my left.  I raised my gun when I heard a quail flush.  I turned 270 degrees and there he was, right in the line of fire.  He even faked trying to fall down to get out of the way of the shots.  Clever bastard."

Seeber: "You know, I was just telling Dr. Blanchard that's what I thought happened!  Go on!"

Blanchard: "Shots?"

Cheney: "Hey, I'm not a very good shot.  You know, I had five deferments from the draft during the Vietnam War, so I didn't spend my youth learning the finer points of firing a semi-automatic weapon.  Yes, several shots, as I'm not a good shot and I wanted to bag a damn quail.  That's DAMN Quail not Dan Quayle.  Make sure you get that detail right."

Blanchard: "Makes sense to me, Mr. Vice President.  You are actually a hero and saved poor Mr. Whittington by being a bad shot, foiling his devious plan, and saving his life."

Cheney: "Damn straight.  Now, go talk to that idiot gaggle of press and make sure they know the real story."

A few hours later in the White House press room.

Scott McClelland, President's Press Secretary: "Ok, settle down everyone.  Northern State Professors Ken Blanchard and Jim Seeber will brief you about what happened on Vice President Cheney's hunting trip."

Gregory, Plante, et al: "Oh, thank you Scott!"

Blanchard and Seeber relate their conversation with Cheney to a rapt White House press corps.

Blanchard: "And in conclusion, based on our interviews and analysis of the evidence, we find Vice President Cheney to be a highly credible witness.  We have no reason to doubt that Mr. Whittington was deliberately trying to kill himself via an unknowing and unwitting Mr. Cheney.  You should accept this conclusion too.  Why?  Because we say so.  Case closed.  It was a suicide attempt."

Gregory, Plante, et al: "Oh, Professors Seeber and Blanchard, thank you so much!  We could have never done this without you!  What can we do in return?"

Blanchard: "Stop being the liberal horde that you are and believe everything President Bush and Vice President Cheney tell you."

Gregoy, Plante, et al: "Oh, we will, we will!  Thank you blogging non-criminal justice Northern State University professors!"

Seeber: "All in a days' work, all in a days work."

The End?

Obviously, the above is parody and did not happen.  Mr. Whittington did not try and commit suicide.  There is no evidence that Mr. Cheney shot him deliberately.  But it does make you want to go "hmmmm."