My new good friend, Leslie Unruh. Think of the discussions we'll have!The trip to the mailbox is much like a trip from the garbage can. Junk mail, junk mail, and more junk mail. Particularly now, with election season upon us.
But upon my return from the mailbox, imagine my utter joy when I noticed I received a letter from my hence before unknown good friends, Leslie and Allen Unruh of the Alpha Center in Sioux Falls, asking me, yes, liberal, independent, very pro-choice Todd, to contribute to the South Dakota abortion ban bill (or the Women's Anti-Health and Enslavement Act, as I call it) litigation fund. I guess Allen and Leslie don't read this blog or they would have seen yesterday's graphics.
Dr. Allen Unruh, Todd's other new friend. Do I get a discount now on chiropractic services? Then again, the letter went out February 23, 2006.
Here is a link to the letter in .pdf:
abortion letter.pdf
Some "highlights" with my comments afterwards:
- "Now we want the governor to know that state funds will not be needed to fight this lawsuit. This is not a time to take any chances, as we have opened the dyke."
Comment: The Unruhs' sexual practices are none of my business, but what's this about having "opened the dyke?" Holy Freudian slip, Batman!
- "God has broken the mold with each of us.
Comment: Allen, Leslie, in your cases, no argument there.
- "It (this fundraising effort) must be a grass roots movement of monumental proportions by we, the people. A movement so grand, it exceeds anything we've experienced in the last 33 years."
Comment: Or, we could just let Steve Kirby write the check, but what fun would that be?
- "The actual lawsuit could cost two to three million dollars, but we need to raise money to prove to the governor that pro-life people are willing to put their money where their mouth is."
Comment: Looks like the state government is up for sale to the person or group that can raise the most cash. Puts a whole new spin on initiative and referendum. Also, pro-life people apparently have to share one mouth. Oh, and by the way, how can this lawyer get in on the litigation action? (Just kidding, State Bar of South Dakota, just a joke, I am not soliciting!)
- What a tremendous victory for God and our country!"
Comment: Leslie, Allen, check your connection to God. He/She/It told me today that he was very disappointed in South Dakota and He/She/It was going to smite the Mt. Rushmore State this summer with a series of droughts, hailstorms, and tornados. Sorry, just kidding. He/She/It told me just to expect a slew of tornados. He/She/It wants to see if we get the message or not then He/She/It will bring the big stuff. Oh, and something about male first borns and locusts. My connection was getting a little fuzzy. The doorbell rang.*
- Look at the very bottom of the second page: "Contrbutions to the Alpha Center are eligible for a tax-deduction. All gifts are used to fulfill the services of the Pro-Life causes per the Board of Directors."
Comment: How about "per the IRS?"
Well, I hate to break it to my two new friends, the Unruhs, but I won't be sending any money. Just derision. And disdain. And wishes that the effort falls flat on its face.
*No, I don't think God talks to me, at least not directly, as far as I know.